Disaster 201 - Winter 2010

Caution: the following is not for the faint of heart.  It is also only a smattering of the disasters they have caused.  Some were so bad that I didn't even have the energy to get the camera, let alone take a picture.

Rascal in training.  Alex is steadily learning from the twins.  On a positive note, he speaks in sentences.  On, well, a less positive note, he is an expert climber and can now make equally challenging messes.


One conference call, one set of twins.  Conference calls are a regular part of my life.  Usually, I can just mute it, listen, and go on with my regular business.  Unfortunately, on this conference call I had to talk.  So, I hid myself in the laundry room for about 10 minutes.  In that amount of time, they took every single box they could find from upstairs and threw it with gusto down the stairwell.  Of course, I could hear this happening but there was *nothing* that I could do since I was actually speaking to lawyers from five different law firms on a multi-million class action!!  They seemed pretty pleased with their work in the end.


One discovery motion to write. This mess, of course, occurs at least 3 times daily.

One afternoon "nap" time.  This is the disaster I affectionately refer to as the 3,000-page pickup.  The scheme goes something like this.  Lay down in your beds and quietly say goodbye to your mom, who shuts the door, thrilled that they are taking a nap.  Then, quietly sneak out of bed and go into the closet where the computer paper is stored.  Somehow manage to unhook that crazy, tight plastic strap that goes on the outside of the box of paper.  Then, open each ream of paper one by one until you have created a mess that even your own mother won't want to clean up.  Ta da!

This was their bedroom after the printer paper disaster.


This was their closet after the printer paper disaster.


Zoe, co-conspirator, super-rascal (with great hair).




Yes, that is my dishwasher.  Yes, Zoe was thrilled with her new "basket" for the strawberries.
This definitely ranks in the top five worst disasters ever.  I was preparing for a two-day summary judgment hearing.  There were 12 cross motions for summary judgment between the three parties.  I was billing 200+ hours a month (but only had Tuesdays/Thursdays in the office, so the rest of the time was made up of me not sleeping and the twins getting into a whole lot of trouble).  I had a conference call to discuss the final reply briefs.  I thought the twins had gone upstairs to play.  I was sorely mistaken.  They had broken into my bathroom, found my makeup bag, and created abstract art all over the countertop, mirrors, and themselves.  Zoe's canvas was painted with my foundation and lipstick.  JR's canvas was painted with, his favorite, mascara.  I'm convinced mascara ranks up there with Sharpees for sheer and utter impossibility of recovery.  Even the world's best eye makeup doesn't take it off a mirror.  Needless to say, it took a whole lot longer to clean up than it did to create.

As you can see, the twins suffered greatly after this incident (treating themselves to a very bubbly bath in our jetted tub).

Fox in Socks (of Dr. Seuss's creation) is Zoe's best friend.  One day, Zoe decided to decorate him with stickers.  I think it looks like chicken pox fox.


You may ask yourself, what are those wild monkeys sitting in?  The answer is found in the next picture.

That's right, they are sitting in the dryer.

I do believe that Alex was most pleased with himself for trapping them in there.  The poor baby suffers greatly at the hands of the twins, so it was quite delightful to see him corner them!

And now, you might ask yourself, where are the twins sitting?  Answer, at the top of baby Alex's closet.  That's right.   One morning, I was concerned because the twins hadn't arisen at their ridiculously early hour.  So, I walked upstairs to find that they had snuck into the baby's closet, thrown everything off the racks and shelves onto the floor, and then shimmied their way up to the top.  They are either spiderman or monkeys--I haven't figured out which.  Perhaps they are spider monkeys.

Alex thought the whole affair was hilarious.  They had thrown a bunch of shoe boxes, diapsers, wipes, and any other item they could find into the crib with him.  He really is a great sport.

We had a terrible bout of sickness in February and it continued with Zoe through May.  So, one day she told me she really needed to go to the bathroom and I said, go right ahead.  Time passed and passed.  Finally, I decided to check on her.  Apparently, the "need" to go to the bathroom was not for ordinary business--it was instead to put the new glittery, puffy bug stickers all over the wall.  Lovely.

And in the grand scheme of things, this ranks as the #1 most horrible disaster.  Remember the two-day summary judgment hearing I referred to earlier?  After the twins survived weeks of briefing (motions, oppositions to motions, replies in support of motions, motions to strike, etc.), we had to prepare for the hearing.  At this point, the twins were at the end of their rope (and so was I).  So, I exiled them to their room for nap time for one hour.  I figured, what was the worst that could happen?  The answer is depicted below--my potty-trained twins stripped off their underwear, defacated on the floor and then wiped it all over the walls.  Yes, all of the brown spots are POOP!!!  I concluded that this was a not-so-subtle hint to stop working so hard and start giving them more attention.  Hint taken.  It took me two hours to clean up but gave me a lesson of a lifetime.