The morning started off easy enough. I set the twins up with some toys and went to take a less-than-five-minute shower.
When I emerged from the shower baby in tow, a strange scent (familiar but foreign) pervaded my entire home. Then I looked at my windows and saw a strange greasy substance dripping down all of the windows. I was then greeted by a smiling JR, holding a bottle of orange glow furniture spray and spraying his chest like he was some sort of WWF wrestler. As I assessed the damage, I realize he sprayed his chest (like sunscreen), Zoe's hair (like hairspray), all the windows (like Windex), the tile floor (like Swiffer), and Wally (I guess so he wasn't left out??). I started with the floor so they wouldn't track it throughout the house.
While on my hands and knees cleaning up the damage, I heard a small voice from upstairs say, "Mommy, I found the lotions." The pitter patter of little feet came running down the stairs and there was Zoe--covered in zinc oxide diaper cream. At this point, I put the baby under my arm like a football and dragged the twins to the shower.
After bathing them, I decided they could play OUTSIDE with sidewalk chalk. In the middle of this activity, the baby had a blow out diaper. So, I changed it. I turned around to discover the twins drawing all over the tile floor with sidewalk chalk. Deciding that crying wasn't an option, I confiscated the chalk and took the baby with me into the office (I was busy filling out the forms for the pediatric opthamologist because JR had injured his eye by falling into the corner of a filing cabinet). Zoe bounds into the office carrying a piece of blue sidewalk chalk. I say, "Zoe, put the blue chalk down." Zoe responds, "No" and then proceeds to draw all over the walls of the office. Horrified, I exile her from the office and lock the door. The children were then uncharacteristically quiet. I thought, "I guess they learned their lesson." After a few minutes, I walked out to see what they were doing. The little angels were sitting side by side on the piano bench. And then I saw it--they had removed the valve from their sippy cups and they were pouring juice on my piano keys one by one.
When I emerged from the shower baby in tow, a strange scent (familiar but foreign) pervaded my entire home. Then I looked at my windows and saw a strange greasy substance dripping down all of the windows. I was then greeted by a smiling JR, holding a bottle of orange glow furniture spray and spraying his chest like he was some sort of WWF wrestler. As I assessed the damage, I realize he sprayed his chest (like sunscreen), Zoe's hair (like hairspray), all the windows (like Windex), the tile floor (like Swiffer), and Wally (I guess so he wasn't left out??). I started with the floor so they wouldn't track it throughout the house.
While on my hands and knees cleaning up the damage, I heard a small voice from upstairs say, "Mommy, I found the lotions." The pitter patter of little feet came running down the stairs and there was Zoe--covered in zinc oxide diaper cream. At this point, I put the baby under my arm like a football and dragged the twins to the shower.
After bathing them, I decided they could play OUTSIDE with sidewalk chalk. In the middle of this activity, the baby had a blow out diaper. So, I changed it. I turned around to discover the twins drawing all over the tile floor with sidewalk chalk. Deciding that crying wasn't an option, I confiscated the chalk and took the baby with me into the office (I was busy filling out the forms for the pediatric opthamologist because JR had injured his eye by falling into the corner of a filing cabinet). Zoe bounds into the office carrying a piece of blue sidewalk chalk. I say, "Zoe, put the blue chalk down." Zoe responds, "No" and then proceeds to draw all over the walls of the office. Horrified, I exile her from the office and lock the door. The children were then uncharacteristically quiet. I thought, "I guess they learned their lesson." After a few minutes, I walked out to see what they were doing. The little angels were sitting side by side on the piano bench. And then I saw it--they had removed the valve from their sippy cups and they were pouring juice on my piano keys one by one.
Needless to say, this was one of the worst days ever. The children are still alive--barely. John came home early to preserve his progeny.
1 comment:
Our computer died just as we were leaving for Iceland so we had to buy a new one as the old one went in for repair. Then the new one died in October and we finally decided to have Randy send our repaired one. It finally arrived and as I was looking through favorites today I found your blog. Thanks it was fun reading the recent posts and this one gave me such a good laugh I had to say thanks.
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